Saturday, August 14, 2010

Clara's Fan Fic: Step Up 2 The Break of Dawn

Note: Obviously, I don't own the characters but all rights belong to Stephanie Meyer (Twilight saga) & Jon M Chu (Step Up trilogy).



It’s cold, it smells and I’m getting hungry, thought Moose as he hunches in a dark corner of the tunnels. Almost surrendering to exhaustion, he leans against the nearest wall for support; trying to relieve his aching body from his recent brush with death. Trying to pace his heartbeat to a slower rhythm, he shut his eyes to focus and inhales through his nose then out his mouth. Taking three deep breaths, he feels the sting in his abdomen.

“Great – I think I might’ve broken a rib….or two”, he mutters as he winces.
Except for a few minor scrapes and bruises along his arms to his hands, he is relieved it isn’t too serious – battle scars are chick magnets, he muses silently. After a few minutes of self examination, he suddenly feels slightly light headed as something warm trickles down the corner of his left eye and he reaches up with his index to touch it. Seeing blotches of red on his finger, his eyes widen in shock.
“That’s not good…ugh! Vampire durability, my ass”, he gasps and with that thought he drifts further into the darkness of unconsciousness.
Emerging from the cold slimy water, Leah Clearwater launches onto the platform with a loud thud as she scans her surroundings warily for danger. Her canine senses enable her to get her bearings of her location, which she finds advantageous of being a werewolf. She realises that the battle she’s just endured separated her from her younger brother, Seth and another companion – a resident who offered to show them around the city but got involved in their vampire problem. After she shakes off the faecal infested water, she notices a faint heartbeat and follows the sound through the dark sewers. Staying clear of the rat trail along the wall, she cautiously advances toward the steady drum beat. As she draws closer, she recognises a familiar scent causing a wave of relief and curiosity as she turns left into the next tunnel; she quickly spots a rumpled figure alongside the wall.

Her vision narrows, taking in the still form sprawled before her and barely noticeable from the dim lighting several paces away. His chest slowly rising and dropping as he lay in his dark jeans and black–white flannel shirt. Leah notices that he isn't wearing his favourite cap; he must’ve lost it during the fight, she wonders. Her paws make squishy sounds as she approaches to check for fatal wounds and takes the time to look over his elven-like features. Shoulder length brown curls, now damp and strewn across his triangular shaped face and oddly enough, she tries not to dwell on the thought of his soft creamy skin. She snarls as she shakes back to reality when she smells blood. His blood. He bleeds? She wonders in confusion as she assumed vampires were almost impenetrable – even half-breeds.

Stirring awake, Moose finds a hulking dark creature standing over him, licking the wound above his left brow. He momentarily smiles at the feeling and then quickly pushes its head away.
“Thanks for the wake up…but eww, gross – just knowing you’re human under there, Leah”, he pipes as he pulls a disgusted expression.

The sight before him, is both magnificent and frightening – a light grey shaggy wolf, the size of a stallion but bulky with its sharp teeth sparkling in the dim lit tunnel. Before she can react, they both turn as loud snarls echo from the platform opposite them. Darting to his feet, Moose leaps to his left dodging the oncoming horde of vampires while the wolf lunging forward; catches a couple of limbs in her mouth, in mid-air and drops into the murky water dragging them down.

Meanwhile, Moose snarls and crouches into an attack position; gives into his vampire instincts and lashes at the closest enemy who fails to react in time. He sinks his teeth into its neck and tears a chunk with great force. He continues to dismember his prey with his hands until movement from his right causes him to jump away. He snarls again and dodges a few more blows before counter attacking with a quick somersault over the bald vampire; grabs his head and snaps his neck as he lands. Moose suddenly winces in pain as his ribs crackle under the impact and yelps as two more figures approach.

“This really sucks now”, he breathes uneasily.


Like a shadow creature, the giant wolf vaults onto the platform from the water and crushes one while biting into the second threat, ripping his head off. She then turns to the killer pinned under her and turns him into shreds with several fluid movements of her head. Her gaze then falls on a slouched Moose, leaning against a wall who smiles at her.

“I thought you’d never come up again”, he says with a worried look.
Leah just barks and dips her head in agreement. Suddenly, a loud thud lands behind her as they turn to face a howl from the giant gangly yellowish brown wolf in Leah’s view. On top of a vampire who is still moving with limbs intact, the second wolf crushes it and ruins its attempt to sneak up on Leah.

“Dang, that was loud”, Moose whines as he flinches from the howling. He continues on, “But nice save, Seth – Leah didn’t see that one coming, so she owes you”, he teases and chuckles as Leah barks at him.

Satisfied with their victory, Moose mounts the yellowish brown wolf painfully as he knows Leah wouldn’t let him near her – he’d be dangling from her mouth. He shudders silently and announces on their way out of the tunnel.

“Not bad for a hybrid vampire and werewolves who’ve only known each other for a few days, aye?” he says keeping his gaze on the exit and adds,

“After this entire workout, I’m glad it’s spring break - to recover….I’ve got dance battles to focus on”, he sighs as they stalk out into the night.

7 comments:

  1. This is my only draft unfortunately but it's better than nothing, i guess. I've yet to see the Eclipse & Step Up 3D movies, so I'm hoping my story falls between the cannons. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Clara..This is yoon k

    I just have finished to read your fan ficiton.

    You described well what he or she is doing in detail.

    This is a good trial...

    However, I have a little advice though...

    Fankly, as we have word limit by 1,000 words, it is hard to write detail fiction

    So I suggest you using comprehensive words.

    For example, you can use an expression

    from 'Except for a few minor scrapes and bruises along his arms to his hands,'

    to 'Except for a few wounds'

    That`s all..

    I think if you do not have the word limit your fiction would be one of the best fictions..

    C ya~~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice one, I like how you describe what is happening in the story.

    There are some confusion about past and present tenses here and there you should check on that one. And you forgot the " " in the begining "It's cold... blah blah" (i wonder if that's on purpose or not haha).

    Nothing else to comment other than that because Yoon said it all your fiction would be one of the best :D Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks guys, I was having problems with my use of tenses and I forgot to differentiate the thought dialogue in italics. Thanks again. ;D

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh, maybe the best one I've read so far :) ! good joooooooooooooob (thumbs up)

    ReplyDelete
  6. VAMPIRES!! love the part when they're having battle. I can sort of imagine the scene XDD

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks again, I'm just glad that my work - even though rushed - was good & made sense for you. Too bad this was only one scene out of three which I originally wanted in there but the word limit restricted anymore additions. Cheers. ;)

    ReplyDelete